combing your face with a nestle crunch bar

don’t look him in his face

you looked at his eyeballs

and his big nose

just keep walking

head back down now good

keep a book of coincidences

5 times

i’ve seen him 5 times now

mark it down

feel important

with a pad in your back pocket

i don’t do that anymore

but i should

his name might start with a P

i probably see other people just as many times

but i remember him


i think he likes my girlfriend

do i even have a girlfriend

like mitch said

i don’t

but she’d be mad if she heard me say that

one time i said a joke about a baguette

and he laughed

not mitch

but this other guy

i want to be in a cereal commercial

i ate a piece of deodorant once

and i can’t recall why 

i don’t matter but i exist

i am a cereal commercial

can you read me a story about the czech republic

and call it a night

i have too many heads and not enough drinks

the stool is soft

but in the morning it is harder

i am shitting blood

i am giving blood

a t shirt i saw told me this is good

i am ok

i promise i am ok

not everything is about you

but everything is about me 

i hate myself so much

that i keep living

can you believe 

i haven’t seen the inside

of a dentist’s office

my entire life

why won’t the womb take me back

i am crying out of my ears

for fear of the mouse

that knows it’s a trap but can’t resist

the peanut butter.



The Guy from your Dream

The Guy from your Dream

if dylan thomas drank himself to death what chance do i have to be anything but dependent on mickey’s malt liqour

don’t take it personally

i have a million girlfriends

that i’ve never even met

i keep eternally inside of me

i hope he writes you shitty poems

i hope he never kisses your head

i hope he thinks you’re thinking of him

when you’re pretending i am dead

john i hope you don’t mind

that i borrowed some of your lines

i tried to do it on my own

but you lived them before i did

those college-town kids

know how to have a good time

youthful nihilistic art

faux thrift store attire

i’m slinging dough

for everyone’s parents

i’ve ever known

some people overcome anxieties

beat eating disorders

i beat castlevania iv


mop your head

there’s a bleak line of babbling jims

marsupial phlegm

bob haircut hiccups

bank stickups

i saw it on the news

i read it online

i put my brain in a better place

but it always capsizes

in a lethargic pool of its own cerebral ceramic

frantic panic

grocery store lines

long car rides


channel eleven

when you play basketball

do you even understand it

when the ball is in your hand

do you feel the dimples

the way they feel you

and count them in your head

i do

eyelids like lead

hands dirty like christina

when she was xxxtina

uncut uncouth sticking to your palms

to bed, bath, and BEYOND!

said scuzz lightbeer

unto me when i was very young

and numb not as dumb

as i am now

but i’ve learned how to appear more wise

and sometimes i have a beard

and you may notice but you stay mum

and i like it that way

because your mouth is a farm for cum

and i haven’t had a release in days

i go to bed and pray


roll me a boner, God

drop a log


123 dickstick avenue

city, state, zip code

lymph nodes

much larger than the size of my head

can kill you

but people die everyday

and we’ll go eat at o’charleys

after the service

and try to forget anything ever even happened

so keep wasting emotions

throw away your tongue

you only need your thumbs

keep texting on your apple fuckphone

and overcompensating for the fact that you are nothing

spec of dirt

grain of sand

pencil shavings

parking ticket

the first and last duck in a row

you’re really something special

you’re 1 in 8 billion and counting

can you even comprehend

what happens every second outside your bedroom at 4 AM

while there’s a fly buzzing in the shutters

sending shards of shit and dust peppering onto your doughy face

my names always in your mouth

so you must like the taste

lemon meringue

opaque hot wit

with whimsical sensibility

empowered with melancholic tranquility

look back up from your phone

i can smell the smug dribbling from your pores like puke

it must be nice to keep making messes

you never have to mop up

you’re a diamond

stuck in a sea of shit

but your luster never catches

and you’re just cockwashed coal

bobbing in and out of the sea of loneliness

for the rest of eternity

nothing but sun spots


jagged rocks


fucking and laying so many eggs in your eyes

you’d think your brain was a god damn

chicken coup

if you really knew him

would you still stand by your man

as he secretes secrets

past lives

good times

you can cover your mouth and try to hold it in

but it’s still coming out of the cracks

fine wine

lines in your hands

you can trace them all night

and ponder, wander, and wonder

but you’re going nowhere

you got nothing

your life is meaningless

and your shoes are dumb

drop the hope

and get fucked in the ass

by authority’s meat

as it pendulum swings into

your red light district

rips tares and tears

stay safe

wear a condom

be cool

get cancer

pencils are not your friend

pencils breed mistakes

they have erasers on the ends

erase yourself

i’d erase myself

but i’m fucking busy